Travel Jokes

travel jokes 1 - holiday jokes

On a safari meets the Vacationing a tiger. Anxiously one asks the tour guide: "Is not he dangerous?" - "No, do not worry, he's full!" - "How do you know that?" - "Because Mr. Schmidtke is missing!" 

 

"Where are you going on vacation, sir Mair? "" By sight. "" Where is that? "" I do not know either! The paper always says, "Nice weather in sight." 

 

The customer goes to the Holiday in the nearest photo shop and asks the seller: "Do you make enlargements here to a natural size?" 

"Of course, sir!" The customer is visibly relieved and happy: "That's fine, I have a slide from Mount Everest here!" 

 

travel jokes 2 

A ravishingly beautiful blonde enters a bank in Frankfurt and asks for a loan of € 10,000 for a three-week trip to the United States. 

 

The banker asks: "What collateral can you offer us?" 

 

Blonde: "No problem, my new Aston Martin is out there!" 

 

After 3 weeks she returns and pays her debt + 34.62 € interest. 

 

Banker: "Listen, we've found out you're a multimillionaire, why are you doing that?" 

 

"You still have to learn a lot," the blonde replies, laughing mischievously and declaring, "Where else in Frankfurt can you safely park a € 200,000 car for three weeks for € 34.62?"

 

 

travel jokes 3

A Scot wants to travel. Halfway to the train station , he turns back and rushes into the room . 

 

"What I wanted to say, do not forget to heat less for one person during my absence in the living room !"

 

 

travel jokes 4

The bricklayer Sepp and the electrician are bored at the construction site. Suddenly Maurer-Sepp makes the suggestion to go to Berlin and visit Gerhard Schröder . The electrician has nothing against it and there you go. 

 

In Berlin, Maurer-Sepp von Schröder is warmly welcomed and invited to dinner. After the two have eaten their fill, Maurer-Sepp suggests flying to Russia for a small schnapps and visiting Yeltsin. 

 

The electrician is surprised, but drives along. Yeltsin picks them up directly from the airport and greets them with a vodka. After a hearty Zechtour in the Kremlin Maurer-Sepp wants to Rome to the Pope . The electrician is already happy, he believes, now Maurer-Sepp spans the bow. 

 

Arriving in St. Peter's Square, where the Pope is holding a mass, Maurer-Sepp immediately rushes to the pope to greet his old friend. When he comes back, the electrician lies there unconscious. Maurer-Sepp wakes him up and asks what has blown him away? 

 

He answers: "Your acquaintance with Schröder was awesome, knowing Yeltsin was unbelievable and that you know the Pope, I thought impossible, but just when the Japanese came and asked me who was the man next to the bricklayer Sepp is, it blew me away. "