Christmas Jokes

christmas jokes 1

Fritzchen Christmas joke: At Christmas Fritzchen gets a toy train. He immediately builds her on a hat and calls: "Hamburg Central Station, Hamburg Central Station - Small assholes go left, big assholes on the right board." Quickly his mother comes running out of the kitchen: "You do not say that, Fritzchen, as punishment you go to your room for an hour now!" After an hour, Fritzchen comes back from his room, goes to the railroad and calls: "Hamburg Hauptbahnhof, Hamburger Hauptbahnhof - Small assholes go left, big assholes right and get in because of the huge asshole from the kitchen, we have one hour late." The customer review has been automatically translated from German.

 

christmas jokes 2

The family man wants to surprise his little daughter for Christmas. He lends himself a Santa Claus costume, puts it on in secret, takes sack and tail and goes into the living room: 

"From outside, from the forest I come from." 

"I have to tell you, it's Christmas a lot," 

"and everywhere on the tops of the fir," 

"I saw the golden light flash." 

Then the daughter to the mother: "Mom, Daddy is drunk again?"

 

christmas jokes 3

Is a little girl with his new bike at the traffic lights. Then a police officer comes on horseback and asks: "Well, did you get the bike from the Christ child?" The girl replies, "Yes, I have!" Then the policeman: "Sorry, but unfortunately I have to take you 20 euros Tell the Christ child next year, it will give you a bike with reflectors, okay?" As the girl asks: "Did you get the horse from the Christ child?" The policeman thinks for a moment and then nods. Then the girl: "Well, then tell the Christkind next year, the asshole is in the back and not on top of it!"

 

christmas jokes 4

 Three blondes meet after Christmas. "My friend gave me a book," says one. "I can not read that at all!" - "That's nothing! My friend bought me an appointment planner, I can not even write that!" - "For me it's even worse! My friend bought me a deodorant scooter, but I do not even have a driver's license!"

 

christmas jokes 5

After the company Christmas party Peter wakes up and remembers a dispute with the boss. His girlfriend: "You said to him that he was a fool and he fired you because of it" Peter: "He can me" She: "That's what I said to him - you have the job again."